The Amazing Whatever
by Sapphire09
Summary: A Spideypool Story The Imaginative Alternate Continuity of Spider-Man/Deadpool (2016) #4 Deadpool shot Peter Parker. Spiderman should really go back to hating him. he really, really should. Because there's no way Deadpool really changed, right? He knew he should've taken therapy instead. Anna Maria could only shake her head as the Parker Principle began to delude her friend.
1. Pilot Chapter (If This Was A TV Show)

Peter Parker woke up in pain, mostly concentrated at three different spots on his body, and the memory of Deadpool putting those bullets in him.

"Fuck…."

He groaned in pain when every movement he made only served to make the pain worse. He was losing blood, fast. He needed to close the wounds soon before he lost all the blood he needs to stay alive. He needed stitches, like 40 minutes ago (or has it been hours already?).

His healing factor was most likely the reason he wasn't dead yet.

Damn it, he needed help.

He noticed his phone lying not far on his left. If he could only _move_ his left hand, he could get someone to help him up, at the very least. Or bring him some transfusion blood.

The amount of blood he lost was quite alarming.

 _'Suck it up, Parker. You gotta move if you wanna live'_

His hand was shaking as he reached to his phone. He managed to unlock his phone by muscle memory alone, but he couldn't open much of the menu since he couldn't see the screen clearly. But, he could hear the notification for a new voice message from the hands free still stuck in his ear. From Deadpool.

Very much not him. Not now. Preferably not ever again.

However, opening the contact list when he couldn't be sure who he would contact wasn't an option either. So he opened his last dialled contact instead.

 _"Peter? I thought you were having breakfast?"_

Anna Maria. Right. Now, let's try to speak. Preferably coherent. Because dying.

Deadpool certainly aimed to kill. He was pretty sure the Merc had aimed at his head when he opened the door. That he didn't wasn't something he wanted to contemplate now.

Because he is still dying.

"A-nna. He-lp. Sh-ot. De-ad-poo-l. Bl-ood-l-oss. B-ad."

Brilliant woman that she is, she arrived at his place shortly (he wasn't sure how long) with all the necessary equipment, only with his garbled, incomplete mumblings as her hints. Her face was a mix of emotions he didn't have enough mental capacity to parse through. Her words as she worked through his wounds were lost to him as more blood flowed out of his body, spider-shaped med-scanner running around his immobile body.

Eventually, he did find himself more alert as more time passed (hours? Minutes?). He felt less like a dying man with all his wounds stitched and propped on the couch while letting his healing takes care of the rest. While he still couldn't stand, at the very least, he wasn't in danger of dying anymore. Not according to his scanners, at least.

He still needed something like hospital, though.

"So, what happened? Last I heard from you, you said you had a good time in your date with Deadpool. Not an hour later, you were shot and somehow Deadpool had something to do with it."

Still lethargic, Peter shook his head. "Not a date. Double date. Thor and Jenny were our date."

"Not exactly the point. So, did Deadpool shot you?"

Peter sighed and mumbled out her name instead.

"Damn it, Peter. Deadpool isn't a guy you can save! Whatever you think his reason was, he came to you with intent to kill. The only reason you're even alive right now is because of your healing factor, stubbornness, and a brilliant friend—"

"—And you are brilliant Anna, but—"

"—kill-shots, Peter! They weren't warning shot or shots for giggle, but kill shots with intent to murder! Nothing would make that okay—"

"—he aimed for my head, and my spider-sense didn't warn me."

Anna Maria stopped her ranting after that. Taking her silence as a sign to continue, he talked again.

"Either some magic dulled my spider-sense, which is unlikely, or I trusted him enough that my spider-sense didn't warn me, which is also unlikely, but more likely. I know it is dangerous. I didn't even realize it until after I was shot. This scared me, because I know Deadpool is dangerous. We only had one good night together and now my subconscious already marked him as friend. Either I really do need therapy, or I liked our night out more than I should, or maybe this was something that has been going on for a while and—"

"You're rambling, and I don't really want to hear you having a crush for him after I just dug out his bullets out of your flesh."

"—I don't have a crush. Anyway, he aimed at my head, but he shot my chest instead. Still a kill shot, I know, so the murder intent is still there, but Deadpool wouldn't have done that unless he hesitated. So, thought maybe a talk—"

"Obviously the blood hasn't returned to your head yet, because you're suggesting to talk. With Deadpool. Who just shot you. Dead, I might add, if you weren't Spiderman. For all we know, he could've shot you because he found out Peter Parker is Spiderman."

"Exactly! He doesn't know Peter Parker is Spiderman! It was probably a big misunderstanding."

"He still shot you. In cold blood. Peter Parker, who is Spiderman's employer-slash-friend. And why are you so sure he didn't know?"

Peter grabbed the phone and showed her the notification for a new voice message. The voice message he hasn't opened yet.

"Deadpool left Spiderman a voice message, after he shot me. Why would he do that if he thought he had killed Spiderman?"

Anna Maria lifted a delicate eyebrow at that. "Brag, maybe? You haven't opened it yet, so for all you know, he could be cursing you in there and glad he killed you."

Peter scoffed at that. "And left evidence that he did the deed? That's not how he works. His crime scenes could be filled with a sea of blood, but he never left evidence, especially not a voicemail. No, he doesn't know Peter Parker is Spiderman, so whatever reason he had for trying to kill me, it has nothing to do with Spiderman."

Anna Maria pondered at this, though she still thought Peter was still being too optimistic with Deadpool. Whatever the Merc's reason was, nothing could've justified killing Peter Parker. Even the fact that Deadpool still tried to befriend Spiderman after he shot him felt arrogant and offensive to her.

"You know…you're surprisingly very forgiving to a man who just shot you in cold blood. He shot you with intent to kill. Nothing about this was a case of friendly fire. It was planned murder. An assassination. He came at you with the intent to kill you, and I'm feeling upset right now because you seem ready to defend him at this point of our argument."

Peter let out a long sigh at that and sunk deeper into the couch. His colours have mostly returned and he could think clearer. He still felt light-headed, but the worst seemed to have passed. At least he could think better now. But, even with his newfound clarity, he couldn't think of any rational reason for why Deadpool had targeted Peter Parker. He knew he shouldn't defend Deadpool and he does feel angry. But, for now all he wanted to know now was why.

Why Peter Parker?

"I'm not defending him. I just wanted to know why. I was so sure he meant what he said, wanting to be better, then he shot me. Well, he shot Peter Parker, who wasn't supposed to have anything to do with any of his activities. Was it a job? Was it a personal vendetta? If it was a job, who hired him and why? Did his client know about Spiderman and Peter Parker? If it was a personal vendetta, what did I do as Peter Parker that offends him so much he had to kill me for it? My civilian self and Deadpool barely interacted. We need more information, Anna Maria."

Anna Maria shook her head in exasperation, but she didn't argue further. Peter smiled at her, thankful for her compliance.

"I do feel angry, though. I'm just in too much pain to spend my energy on it. But, I will probably shout at him when I see him. If I could move, I probably would've chased him and webbed him, secret identities be damned," he grumbled as he tried squirming around. Everything still hurt like nobody's business, but his healing had done its job. He felt like he could stand, so he tried to do so. Walking was another thing, though. Even the act of standing winded him and Anna Maria ended up as his crutch.

"So, what's your plan for today?" Anna Maria asked as she helped him to his room. "I don't think you can go to the office today, despite your schedules and meetings. And if sitting still isn't possible, I doubt you can swing around New York either. I can cover for you at the company, but you need to talk to either Hobie or Miles for the Spiderman business."

Peter already reached for his private, Spiderman-phone when it rang out.

It was Miles.

"Well, talk about the spider..." Peter muttered as he picked it up.

"Hi, Spiderman. What-up?" Peter greeted. He could hear the commotion from across the phone. And Deadpool's voice in the background, talking a mile in a minute.

 _"Deadpool said he couldn't get a hold of you. He was in a shouting match with himself, and I've just about to strangle him if he doesn't shut up. Are you okay, by the way? The company haven't seen you all day either, and I haven't heard anything happening. Well, besides the Spideypool Dance. I gotta say man, you got moves and no shame. They're all over YouTube and Twitter already."_

He could see Anna Maria staring at him judgmentally from her seat at the corner of his bed and hear Miles snickering from the phone. In the background, Deadpool was demanding the phone and yelling out Spiderman's name.

 _("Come on, Junior! I wanna talk to Spidey! I need to tell him something!")_

Ah, there's the anger. Finally.

"Well, I got shot in three different places. My healing saved me, but it was pretty bad. Anna Maria saved my life, but I probably need a bit more medical attention, which I'm not quite sure how to get it, since it was Peter Parker who got shot, not Spiderman."

 _"Wait, what? Peter Parker got shot? How—"_ Peter could hear the sudden stop of Deadpool's babbling and knew the mercenary is probably getting ready to scram. Or fight. Either way…

"It was Deadpool. Web him up and don't let him get away."

The sound of webbings being shot was heard before there was Deadpool's muffled grunt.

 _"I got him. What now?"_

"Drag Deadpool to my place. I want to know why he wanted to kill Peter Parker."

 _"Right. You know I can just ask him right?"_ Peter heard the sound of webbing being torn. _"Peter Parker. Talk."_

Deadpool was uncharacteristically silent.

 _"Seriously? Come on, you've been talking nonstop minutes ago! Now you don't want to talk?"_

 _("I will talk, but only to the_ _ **real**_ _Spiderman. Not you, Spiderclone. And-and Spiderman have a better ass than yours.")_

 _"…You know… I really hate this…acquaintance of yours. Where are you?"_

"Peter Parker's apartment. I can't exactly move much for now. As good as my healing factor is, Deadpool had aimed to kill and I was off guard. I lost a lot of blood, too. But, I'm not as bad as I was thirty minutes ago."

While Peter could hear Deadpool's grunts as Miles shot another rounds of webbing, he could also hear the other Spiderman's hesitancy.

 _"Should I get another hero on this? Are you sure you want to handle him now?"_

Peter grunted as he tried to sit up a bit straighter, Anna Maria helping him on his side.

"Not really. But, I really need to know his reason for shooting at me. If it was a job, whoever his client is could be someone who found out the relation between Spiderman and Peter Parker. Or someone who was against Parker Industries. Either way, I need to know before another mercenary comes in and finish the job once they know Peter Parker is alive."

The whooshing of the black Spiderman swinging could be heard through the phone, together with Deadpool's muffled grunts in the background.

 _"Are you masked? I'll arrive in about five minutes. I can slow down if you need more time."_

Peter had actually been pondering about it. But, he decided the double identities could increase the confusion. And he needed to clear things up instead of adding more confusion.

Anna Maria seemed to read his thought and disagree, vehemently. "He shot at you, and now you want to reveal yourself to him. _Unbelievable_."

 _"Come on, seriously? Did you hit your head on the way down, Spiderman? —Shut up, Deadpool!"_

The whooshing sound seemed to have stopped, and Deadpool incoherent grunts got louder, like he was actually trying to yell.

"Look. Just, bring him here. And besides, he already trusted me with his own secret. I think it's fair."

And there it is again; Anna Maria's judging stare, mixed with incredulousness and a pinch of fondness. Mostly a stare that demanded him to get his brain back and act like the smart person he's supposed to be.

 _"Fair? Fair! Nothing is fair in this situation! But, you know what? Fine! But I'm not leaving you alone with him, understand?"_

Peter just sighed. "Alright, okay. See you soon."

After the call was over, Anna Maria was still staring at him with her disbelieving face and like he was the stupidest person on earth.

He was feeling like it too, actually.

"…What?"

Anna Maria just sighed loudly.

* * *

Deadpool actually had a plan.

It was supposed to be a good plan. Great, in fact.

He planned to get Spidey alone before he found out about Parker He was going to show all the evidence that he had gathered that show what an evil _sonofabitch_ Peter Parker was before he un-alived him and showed the cute Spider how the man deserved to be un-alived.

When he couldn't get through with Spiderman though, he began to panic.

 _'Does Spiderman know already? But they haven't found Parker's body yet! The news would have announced it! Damn it! Fuck! Spiderman isn't supposed to know until I got evidence! I got evidence!'_

 _[Face it, we're screwed]_

 _(We had such fun, too….)_

 _[At least, we were once his friend? Last night gotta count for something, right?]_

"Shut up! I wanna keep being Spidey's friend. Spidey's a hero. He won't like the un-aliving bit, but he gotta understand how much of a villain Peter Parker is!"

 _[He gonna hate you]_

 _(Loathe you. Dissappointed in you)_

 _[He probably won't speak to you ever again]_

"Fuck off, boxes! Peter Parker was doing human experiments! No way that's okay in Spidey's books! Spidey's just too close to Parker to see his real, schmuck face. I'm being objective here!"

 _(No, you're not)_

 _[Wifey told you to do it]_

 _(You want her appreciation)_

 _[You get to befriend Spiderman was just a great addition]_

 _(And, you got a personal vendetta against human experiments)_

"Exactly! Human Experimentation! Who says Parker won't pick Spidey as his next subject, huh? Spidey's a real hero, he thinks the best out of everyone. He won't expect Parker to stab him in the back. You know his Spidey-sense doesn't work with people he trusted. I'll be damned if I let someone like that get near our Spidey!"

 _[But Spidey doesn't know that]_

 _(Spiderman doesn't like ki-I mean, unaliving anyone)_

"Oh, shut the fuck up! I need to talk to Spidey, not you! And shut up, writer! I don't need you repeating everything I'm saying to yourself. Nobody cares about your intonation! Let the readers decide with their own imagination!"

 _[You're putting too much exclamation point in this story so far, by the way]_

 _(And the name Peter Parker)_

 _[Are you hinting something, writer?]_

Of course, now they're at the point where the writer decided Spiderman should appear. The kid-clone though, not the real one.

"I almost preferred it when you went to hugging spree instead of yelling by yourself on some discrete rooftops," the kid-clone Spiderman said dejectedly, as if Deadpool cared about the not-Spiderman's preference.

Wade cares very much about the real Spiderman's preference, though.

Wait.

"Junior-Spidey! Great timing! Hey, can you get a hold of Spiderman? The real one I mean."

"For the last time, I _am_ Spiderman!—"

"—no, you're not. But anyway, I've been trying to call him up since morning. I mean, last night was such a blast, and we totally showed the ladies we got moves!"

"Yeah, I saw that in YouTube actually."

"So, you totally saw how good we were together, right? And we had so much fun. At least, I was, and he said he had a good time, too. But, when I called, he didn't pick up. I left him a message, but he hasn't called back. And, I thought, did something happen to Spidey? Is he okay? I mean, we just became best buds last night, and it would totally suck if such epic thing ended without even a 24-hours countdown."

Wade realized he was mostly babbling by now, but if it got the message across, he will totally babble all day. The kid-clone didn't have the real Spidey's patience in dealing with him yet, so the kid got huffy soon and pulled a phone from…somewhere.

"Look, I just gotta ask. Where the hell did you pull that out? Spidey—the real one, did that all the time, too! I could never figure out where he put that thing."

"Spidey-secret. Now, shut up if you want me to call him."

Deadpool hurriedly mimed of zipping his mouth closed as the junior called his Spidey (He hoped that's who he's calling). Doesn't mean he won't talk, though.

"Seriously, where did you guys put those phones? Ooh, did Spidey put them near his ass? I mean, whoa. I kinda wish I could just-"

"Hey, Spiderman! Deadpool said he couldn't get a hold of you. He was in a shouting match with himself, and I've just about to strangle him if he doesn't _shut up_. Are you okay, by the way? The company haven't seen you all day either, and I haven't heard anything happening. Well, besides the Spideypool Dance. I gotta say man, you got moves and no shame. They're all over YouTube and Twitter already."

Deadpool would preen, because that had been the best part of his night. Not only he got to see Spidey's ass in his boxers, they got to dance together. If it had been a date, it was the most perfect date he had ever went, and it was with his most favourite person in the world, too.

Oh, whatever. He'll claim it as a date. Their first date, maybe? His first date with Spiderman….

Wait. Spiderman.

"Hey hey hey, Kid! Is that Spiderman? He picked up your call? I wanna talk to him!"

Of course, he was ignored.

"Come on, Junior! I wanna talk to Spidey! I need to tell him something!"

Because things rarely ever work out for Deadpool, he didn't start running when the Spiderclone's mirth turned serious.

"Wait, what? Peter Parker got shot? How—"

 _[Yep, we're screwed]_

 _(Lol, Spiderman hates youu¬)_

He was getting ready with his fight-or-flight response before the junior Spiderman webbed him up from head to toe, leaving him no chance to run.

"Mmmm-mmmmm!"

"I got him. What now?" the kid-clone Spiderman asked to the phone. Wade wanted to yell 'it was all a misunderstanding!', but he could barely move his lips.

And, he didn't really want to start antagonizing either Spiderman, not if he wanted Spiderman to stay his friend.

 _[He's not your friend anymore]_

 _(He knows we killed Peter Parker)_

"Right. You know I can just ask him right?" the black Spider said before he ripped the webbing around his mouth. "Peter Parker. Talk."

Nope. He's not talking to anyone not Spiderman. With the red and blue costume. Not the fake black one. Nope. He's not talkin'.

"Seriously? Come on, you've been talking nonstop minutes ago! Now you don't want to talk?"

"I will talk, but only to the real Spiderman. Not you, Spiderclone. And-and Spiderman have a better ass than yours."

 _[He does]_

 _(Wonderful, wonderful ass that bears repeating)_

"…You know… I really hate this…acquaintance of yours. Where are you?" the black-costumed Spiderman said to the phone. Finally, meeting with the real Spiderman! Not exactly how he planned it, but he finally can show Spidey his evidence! But, did he need to web his mouth again?

"Should I get another hero on this? Are you sure you want to handle him now?"

Oh. That doesn't sound good….. He needs Spiderman! If he got passed to another hero, that means Spiderman is totally mad! No! There was nothing he could do as he was dragged around in a cocoon of webs, though. It's not that he couldn't get himself free, but he really wanted Spiderman-the **real** one, to keep liking him.

"Are you masked? I'll arrive in about five minutes. I can slow down if you need more time."

Wait, did something happen to Spiderman? More time? The Junior Spiderman sounded hesitant in bringing him to his predecessor. Wait, the not-Spiderman is bringing him to Spiderman!

"Mmm-mmmm! Mm-mmmmm-mmmmm!"

"Come on, seriously? Did you hit your head on the way down, Spiderman? —Shut up, Deadpool!"

Wade could hear the irritation in the black-costumed Spiderman. Great.

"Fair? Fair! Nothing is fair in this situation! But, you know what? Fine! But I'm not leaving you alone with him, understand?"

What? Did he thought he would get to stay? Nope, nada. He doesn't want the kid Spiderman to be anywhere near his and real Spiderman's conversation. They were going to have a bromance talk that will affect his and Spidey's future relationship. The kid-Spider is obviously hating him, and his input would be very unwelcome.

Of course, not like he could say anything about it. He did kinda unalived their employer.

Evil employer, though. So there.

He wasn't sure where the black-spandex Spider was taking him, but when the familiar apartment became visible, he was breaking in cold sweat.

They're doing this in Peter Parker's apartment?

Wait, is the body still there?

Is Spiderman angry?

The junior Spiderman's grip on him became tighter, on the verge of being very painful. When the black mask finally regarded him, he could feel the glare through the mask.

"You do anything, Deadpool, I swear you'll regret it. I'm not as nice as my predecessor," the junior Spidey growled at him.

 _[Totally screwed]_

 _'Shut up.'_


	2. So, Will There Be A Second Date?

Peter probably didn't think this through.

He was going to see Deadpool, talk, while he's still very vulnerable. Even though he was getting better as he rested, he wouldn't be able to face Deadpool properly if he decided to finish the job.

In his defence, he was still recovering from his almost-fatal wounds.

Because of Deadpool.

Who, not hours ago, he had fun with. The best fun he had since… He couldn't even remember when the last time he had fun like that.

Okay, there was a possibility of Succubus magic being involved, but he still did have fun.

"Peter, you couldn't even stand," Anna Maria reminded him, "Why would you ask to bring Deadpool here? Can't you just promise to meet him later? Maybe, I don't know, _when you can actually stand?_ "

"I can stand," Peter said petulantly. "Just, hurts a lot. And standing kind of undo all the work you put into stitching me."

Anna Maria shook her head again at Peter's inherent stubbornness.

"Look, I get you need to talk to Deadpool as soon as possible. I'd rather to have you heal a bit more, and maybe have someone who can actually stop Deadpool around, but I get it. Deadpool will know soon that Peter Parker hasn't died yet and could come again to finish the deed. Better to have him come to you while there's Miles and I here."

Peter let out a distressed sound. "I'm actually not sure that I'm comfortable having you here while Deadpool is also here… I'm not sure about what he will do, as we talk."

"Because you're going to reveal yourself to him. Which, I still don't think is a good idea."

Peter could only make an agreeing sound. Anna Maria let out another sigh as she stood up from her perch at Peter's bed and went around towards the door.

"Rest for a bit, Peter. You need it. I'm hoping you can think of something else smarter than 'hi Deadpool, I'm Spiderman' to say later. I'll get you some water."

That…wasn't exactly what he was thinking of saying. There were more big words and more sentences, but he guessed the sentiment was the same. In fact, Anna Maria's words were much more to the point.

Well, he'll figure out what to say one Deadpool arrived. He should let himself rest for a bit. Miles did say 5 minutes…

* * *

It took Miles 14 minutes and 48 seconds to arrive at Peter's apartment. Once he arrived, he threw the web-cocooned mercenary onto the floor of Peter's living room. The only person to see this was Anna Maria, who was waiting on Peter's couch as she watched TV, muted. She merely raised an eyebrow at the rough handling. Miles however, was panting as the expression on his mask could only be described as murderous.

"You wouldn't believe how irritating he was! He kept squirming and grunting and tried to get away, twice! When he could speak, he kept on babbling about _Spiderman_! He also kept mocking me, _me!_ Who is also _Spiderman_ , damn it! God, I don't know how _he_ could ever handle him. He was so annoying!"

"Years of practice, probably," Anna Maria merely said as she stared at the thick cocoon of webs on the floor, wriggling around like a larva. It was quite amusing to watch it squirm, but Deadpool would probably be free soon.

True enough, a blade popped out of the cocoon and sliced through it. Deadpool emerged like a baby chick out of an egg. Only red, bigger, and _Deadpool_. After he stood up properly, he turned to face Miles, who looked like he'd rather throw the taller man outside the window.

"Look, black-Spidey—"

" _I AM SPIDERMAN!"_

"—nope, you're not. Anyway, I gotta say, I really didn't like you lugging me around like a baggage. Your grip totally hurts, Junior! Nice strength, don't mind the webs, but next time you manhandle me again, I'll cut off your arms," Deadpool said, as if he was talking about slicing carrots for cooking. "Spidey however, him I don't mind, because that's our M.O., we're bros, and bros totally manhandle each other. And, I usually have first look at his ass that made everything worth it. You, I'd rather not have you quite so near me. So, I hope the trip was worth it and I can talk to Spiderman now, preferably alone."

The blatant mention of Deadpool's preference for Peter's Spiderman rekindled Anna Maria's anger and irritation at the mercenary.

"Bros don't usually kill another bros' friend, do they?"

That made Deadpool turn to her. Which, if Anna Marie wasn't so upset, would be quite intimidating. Deadpool is a bulky guy under the suit, taller than Peter and quite heavily armed. The mask that usually looked slightly goofy from a distance looked much more threatening close-by.

"Parker deserved what he's got," Deadpool said coldly, "And the word you were supposed to use was 'un-alive', baby. I really, really don't like that four-letter word. If you know what I know, you'll agree that Peter Parker needs to not-live."

Miles grabbed the back of Deadpool's neck and threw him to the opposite wall while the mercenary's attention was on her, and the man crashed with a loud thud that reverberated inside the, otherwise silent, apartment.

Deadpool groaned as he tried to sit up, but Miles already had him by the collar and strangled him by the collar to the wall he just crashed to, slightly disappointed it didn't affect the mercenary much. Anna Maria stood behind the black-costumed Spiderman and glared hard at Deadpool. The full-on glare from one Anna Maria didn't seem to affect Deadpool at all, and for the first time she wished she had some kind of superpower that can melt the disgusting jerk with her eyes.

"Peter Parker is a much better man than you can ever wish to be, Deadpool," Anna Maria growled out. "Spiderman, the one you like, really thought you were changing. He believed you could be better when I don't think you're even qualified to be a person. When you shot Peter, you proved me right. Worse than that, you betrayed Spiderman's trust. What makes you think you even have a right to hang around Spiderman now?"

At that, Deadpool seemed to glare back through his mask. His hands hadn't moved to remove the grip around his neck, but he was itching to rip off said arms off their elbow. He was beginning to get irritated, because his objective was to see Spiderman, the blue-and-red one. He even let himself get webbed (at least, until he was feeling uncomfortable) so the little Spider could take him to Spiderman.

And yet, Spiderman was nowhere in sight.

He'd rather not spend too much time in a home whose owner he just killed, thank you. Bad for business and bad for him. He also had better things to do than listening to a short woman telling him things he already realized. Like begging Spiderman to take him back as friend. Or bargain something so they could keep their friendship. He wouldn't be sorry he killed Parker, but he would do anything for Spiderman, if only to have another night like last night.

"Shut the fuck up, Lady—"

"Don't talk to her like that!"

"Fuck off, fake-spider!"

"Why, you-!"

Fists were about to flew, but before it could happen, a door was the opened with a loud bang, startling all of them. In the next second, both Deadpool and the kid-Spiderman found themselves hanged together upside-down to the ceiling, held by webbings. Before Deadpool could contemplate a similar position, with the Spidey he actually liked, a voice yelled out.

 _"Knock it off, all of you!"_

All irritation vanished at once from Deadpool. Once he gathered his bearings, he looked up excitedly, expecting to see Spiderman.

Instead, he found himself staring at Peter Parking, who was crouching on the ceiling upside-down, in a very Spiderman-like manner.

"God, Peter! Get down! You'll tear open your stitches!"

 _[('What the fuck?')]_

* * *

Peter became aware of his surroundings when he heard a loud thud coming from the direction of his living room. He had been dozing off, hoping to accelerate his healing, if even for a bit, to prepare him for Deadpool. When Miles took longer to arrive, he had been almost asleep before the loud sound alerted him to the voices inside his living room.

He tried to sit up once he identified Deadpool's voice. It took some effort, but he finally managed to get his feet to the floor. _Ha._

 _"— you betrayed Spiderman's trust. What makes you think you even have a right to hang around Spiderman now?"_

Peter was alarmed by the loathing and disgust he could detect in the tone. He doubled his effort to stand up and just _reach_ the door—

 _"Shut the fuck up, Lady—"_

Okay. Nope. Fuck the door—

 _"Don't talk to her like that!"_

Yeah, he needed to be _there_ before they resort to name-calling—

 _"Fuck off, fake-spider!"_

Argh. Fuck the stitches. Fuck the door. He shot a line of webbing towards the ceiling and swung towards the door—

 _"Why, you—!"_

—and the door opened with a loud bang. He quickly shot more webs towards both Deadpool and Miles, hanging them together to the ceiling as he stuck his feet on the ceiling using the momentum he had.

"Knock it off, all of you!" he yelled out, hoping his tone was authoritative enough, because he thought he might've ripped his stitches with his stunt. Everything was painful, so he couldn't really be sure.

"God, Peter! Get down! You'll tear open your stitches!"

Whelp, too late. He felt blood trailing from his wound already.

"Yeah, I think they already ripped…" he trailed, feeling himself and making sure he can land on the floor without falling.

"Oh God, get down, Peter! Damn it, I can see the blood!" Anna Maria yelled out worriedly. In front of him, he could see Miles struggling to get out.

Deadpool was staring at him with an unreadable expression on his mask.

"I want to get down, but I feel like I'm just going to fall down once I let go. And I'm not going to fall on my feet either."

Anna Maria looked like she wanted to scream or tear her hair out, while Miles was struggling even harder, before Deadpool somehow got a hold of his katana and simply cut off the webbing. Once freed, Deadpool jumped to his feet as Miles reached out to Peter and helped him down.

"I am so sorry, Peter," Miles regretfully said, "I lost my cool. God, I was so ready to crush his skull if you hadn't interfered. Oh, man… You really don't look so good…"

Peter simply waved him off when he reached ground. He was honestly surprised Deadpool was being silent, staring at them without commenting. He thought Deadpool was going to use the chance to leave or pull out his gun and finish him off.

With his Spider-sense getting skewed in Deadpool's presence, he wasn't sure Deadpool wouldn't shoot him.

Miles was still being his crutch as well as being his shield, since the younger man had positioned himself between Peter and Deadpool, when Anna Maria gestured them to sit on the floor near the Deadpool-shaped dent. The couch would be better, but he honestly didn't want to go all the way to the couch. Because, hurts.

"Well, getting shot didn't do much good for my good looks- _ow_ ," Peter uttered through the pain. Anna Maria was already kneeling on his side, setting the spider-medscanner and prepared the stitching needled and thread, as well as more gauze and pads.

Through it wall, Deadpool was watching, and Peter watched him back.

"Deadpool," he said, which seemed to startle the mercenary. Peter could practically see other man's muscles tensing in fight-or-flight response.

"Peter Parker. Well, you're still alive," Deadpool said in deceptively light tone. Even Peter knew that Deadpool was still grasping what he was seeing, and about to land on a river of Denial. Deadpool's grip on his katana tightened, which had Miles crouching protectively on Peter's side.

Peter was just done.

"Look," he sighed," Deadpool, I know you're not as stupid as you sometimes make yourself out to be. I'm pretty sure you know who I am by now."

"No, I don't, actually," Deadpool interjected. "All I know is that I shot you this morning, yet you didn't die. Now you hang on ceiling and shooting webs like Spiderman. But, you can't be Spiderman. You can't possibly, ever, be Spiderman. Not after everything you've done."

His words slowly turned to a growl. Peter had to purse his lips at Deadpool's intense denial of him being Spiderman. He felt irritation bubbling up, but he knew it was just a reaction to Deadpool's hostility. The pain didn't help either.

"Okay, fine," Peter decided to let it be. "At the very least, tell me why you tried to kill me. And, from the grip you have on your katana, I think you still want to."

"OF COURSE I FUCKING WANT TO!" Deadpool yelled out suddenly. "I fucking killed you, yet here you are, alive! But, that wasn't the problem, no. The problem is, you evil _sonovabitch_ , that you have _Spiderman's_ power! Where the fuck is he, huh? Did you do something to him to cure yourself? Where the fuck is _Spiderman?_ "

The hand that was holding the katana flailed around as he yelled, before ended up pointing straight at Peter's head threateningly.

Peter really, really wanted to shoot the mercenary's mouth with webs, shut him up and make him listen. He wanted to yell back and throw a few punch.

At least Miles did the yelling for him. He was in too much pain to even yell around.

"He _is_ Spiderman, dumbass!"

Deadpool still wouldn't listen. The red-and-black mask scrunched angrily, as if what Miles said was deeply offensive.

"No, he's _not!_ " Deadpool's strong rejection brought both confusion and irritation to Peter. Even Anna Maria was staring at Deadpool, either in repulsion or confusion, or both.

"And why is it so impossible for Peter Parker to be Spiderman, Deadpool?" Anna Maria asked sharply. "You saw what he could do. He had Spiderman's powers. So, why the hell he couldn't be Spiderman?"

Deadpool laughed, startling them all. Peter could feel Miles by his side, ready to jump and attack Deadpool. Peter kept a hand on the younger man's shoulder, hoping to dissuade him from doing anything reckless.

"Because if he _is_ Spiderman, then I have to believe that Spiderman is also evil, which is so ridiculous that I refuse to even _consider_ it. Spiderman is a hero, the ultimate good guy. He's an amazing hero, and I refuse to believe he could ever be evil."

Deadpool sneered at them. Peter wasn't vain, but to hear Deadpool praise him did dissuade some of his irritation. Anna Maria frowned by his side, most likely wondering about Deadpool's words, like he is.

Deadpool actually believed that Peter Parker is evil, with fervour.

"Okay, alright," Peter tried, "If you don't believe me, then you don't believe me. Fine. At least, before you went ahead and kill me, tell me why I'm such an evil villain."

Peter could feel Anna Marie's 'stare of stupidity' already.

Deadpool still had his katana pointed at him, before he threw a map of crumpled files and photographs at Peter's feet. Peter reached for it, eyes still trained at Deadpool.

"You know, I can't reach the files with your katana right in front of my face," Peter tried, because he really couldn't. The tip touched his forehead when he leaned forward. Deadpool looked like he was about to automatically make a lewd joke, but instead he just moved the katana back, just so Peter could reach the files.

When he had the files on his lap, he stopped paying attention at Deadpool.

Oh. Well. This explains everything.

Both Anna Maria and Miles stared at the content of the files. Peter heard them gasp at the gruesome photographs and some of the experiment methods. Every experiments were subsided by the Parker Industries, and most of them are supervised by Peter Parker himself.

Everything was dated to when Otto Octavius was still walking around in his body.

"I actually gathered my information this time," Deadpool said, katana still pointed at him. "I wasn't killing without reason. I was going to show those to Spidey. But, he trusted you too much. He wouldn't even entertain the thought of you being evil when the whole city was in mass panic because of your invention. I couldn't give these evidence to the police either, because Parker Industries can't fall. Hundreds of lives would be destroyed if you went down in public. The only way to get you down was to kill you, so someone hired me to do the job."

Peter glanced up at Deadpool, who looked like he really would kill him.

And he will.

And this time, Peter could understand the reason. If he wasn't Peter Parker, the thought would probably pass his mind. But, still…

The paper in his hand shook.

* * *

"When you approached Spiderman, was that so you could get to me?"

Deadpool couldn't see his target's expression. Parker's eyes were trained on the files in front of him, looking strangely unconcerned about the fact his assassin is in front of him, katana drawn right in front of his face.

 _[He can't be Spidey. Spidey's Good. Peter Parker is Evil.]_

 _(But, he has Spiderman's powers)_

 _[So what? The kid-spidey has them too. So many people have them, these days.]_

 _(Right. Besides, Spiderman has spidey-sense. He shouldn't even got shot if he was Spiderman)_

"I don't think whatever Spidey and I did is any of your business," Deadpool said, holding the katana tighter. Because, yeah, he kinda did approach Spidey because of his job. But, he also tried to befriend him because he wanted to.

And also because of his job.

 _(Still none of his business)_

 _[Besides, if we can't be friends with Spidey anymore, neither can Parker]_

 _(We got proof!)_

 _[Parker is up to no good, evil, vile things. Fact.]_

 _(We were trying to do good)_

"You did, didn't you?" Parker continued. "All that outings with Spiderman, everything you've done and said, it was all so you could do your job. Spiderman was known to be close to Peter Parker, so you need to know how to bypass him—well, me."

Deadpool didn't like how Parker made it sound, like he manipulated and played Spiderman.

 _[In a way, you did]_

 _(Now, don't you regret it that you didn't shoot his head?)_

 _[Told ya]_

"Still none of your business, Parker. And, for the last time, you can't be Spiderman."

Parker finally looked up, eyes full of anger.

"It didn't matter, did it? You took Spiderman to fights so you could assess his ability in combat, so you could know either you could sneak around him or not. You showed Spiderman your weakness, your soft side, so Spiderman wouldn't be as cautious around you. And, when Spiderman finally called you, reached out his hand to know you better, you took the chance to lower his inhibition so Spiderman wouldn't interfere in your assassination. Did I get anything wrong?"

He didn't, but he took everything out of context, like Deadpool didn't enjoy his time with Spiderman. Like everything they were doing were plain manipulation to get to Parker instead of him genuinely trying and wanting to be Spiderman's friend, so Deadpool tried to stab him on his face, like he should've done since the beginning, instead of shooting at other places just so the man would suffer.

The smaller Spiderman stopped him before the tip of his katana could touch the skin.

"Stop, before you do something you'll regret, Deadpool," the Spider-junior dared to say. Deadpool tried to swat him off, but super-strength held him down. Deadpool snarled, angry like he had never been angered before.

"I showed all of you proof, hard and cold proof! Why are you all still protecting him, huh? Did he give you a big pay-check? Did he give you a big house? Or maybe he sucked you off—"

The small woman that had been silent suddenly went and slapped him hard on his cheek. It wasn't enough to break his jaw or even break his already-scarred skin, but it still stung.

"Shut the fuck up, Wade Wilson! Peter didn't do any of the things you accused him of!" the woman yelled angrily.

 _[Feisty.]_

 _(Not really the time)_

 _[The writer really made this chapter full of conflict though]_

 _(Do you think Loki's sceptre is hidden somewhere here? Everyone is being angry)_

"SHUT UP!" Deadpool yelled out at the boxes, "And that's for you too, Lady! I gave you facts, proof, and there you go, saying things like he didn't do it when proof is right _there!_ In front of your _faces!_ _Literally_! This was why I wanted to talk to Spidey, and Spidey only!"

"Peter Parker _IS_ Spiderman!"

In frustration, he twisted the hand holding him as hard as he could, making the Spider-lad cry out in surprise and gave him a chance to stab the little Spider's arm with his katana. He then whipped out his gun and pointed it at Parker.

Peter Parker, who was staring at him determinedly, instead of cowering like bad guys were supposed to do. The woman beside him stared at Parker with eyes full of fear, for him. The Spider-kid was on the ground, twisting to get the katana out of his arm.

"Go ahead, shoot," Parked said, his voice steady. "But, I know you'll regret it later."

Deadpool scoffed. "What, because you're _Spiderman?_ "

Parker didn't waver. "Yes. And I know you don't believe me, or anyone in this room. But you trust the Avengers, don't you?"

Deadpool never liked it when people brought up the Avengers in the middle of his un-aliving activities.

"The Avengers knew Spiderman's identity. Tell them that Peter Parker admitted to being Spiderman to you. Show them these files and ask them about Dr. Otto Octavius. Ask them to explain everything. If you're right, they'll come help you to apprehend me. If I'm right, I need to know who hired you. Do we have a deal?"

Parker's hazel eyes still stared at him bravely, burned with determination. Deadpool wasn't supposed to make deals with his target, especially since he already researched said target fully and found nothing to say the information he got were false. The proof he had seen in Parker Industries was damning, and he clearly heard the scientists there refer Parker as if those experiments were done under the man's consent.

Yet, there was no fear in the man's eyes. Just resolve.

 _'Spiderman-worthy resolve'_

"Fine. But, if I _am_ right, I swear I'll hunt you down and put a bullet between your eyes."

Parker _smirked._

"Deal."


	3. Shoot My Heart and Hope I Die

Steve Rogers enjoyed having a night to himself. True, he missed the time when he and his team would spend such night together, watching movies and eating dinner together until some of them would fall asleep. Sometimes, he also missed being in the field, having the abilities the serum had given him. But, he also accepted what he currently lacked and be thankful of what he currently had.

Nowadays, he also appreciated a quiet night alone, eating food consisted of everything he loves while watching a TV show he likes. Tonight was one of those night he planned to spend in such manner.

If only he hadn't turned his head when he heard knocking on the window.

It was supposed to be a good night. He was ready in his softest clothing and food on the coffee table in front of him. His sofa was fluffed and felt perfect for prolonged seating, and there was no emergency that needed his attention, hopefully for the next 10 hours. His workload had been lighter earlier that day, and he was about to end the day watching reruns of Doctor Who.

Then, Deadpool literally came knocking on his window, looking like a red-skinned wraith with white hair with the amount of webs hanging on his head.

Even through the mask, Steve could see his manic grin, which usually meant nothing good. His hands were flailing around, as if trying to catch his attention.

Steve was tempted to ignore him, but his own value of chivalry couldn't let himself leave Deadpool outside his house. Not after he already noticed him.

Resigned for a ruined night, he let Deadpool in.

"Oh captain, my captain!" Deadpool greeted cheerfully as he wandered into the living room, ooh-ing and aah-ing on everything that caught his eyes.

"Wade, what are you doing here?" Steve asked with politeness that was deeply ingrained in him. Deadpool threw himself onto the sofa, the opposite side from where Steve was seated, before he answered.

"Well Captain, I have this question that I really, really need an answer to. It's a total dilemma, because my relationship with Spidey is jeopardy here!"

"Wait, Spiderman? What—" Steve's face was a perfect picture of confusion, but of course, whatever question he might have was steamrolled by Deadpool.

"We finally became real bros! We had such a great date. Have you seen our 'Legendary Spideypool Dance? It was all over every social media already!"

"Dance? Deadpool, what—"

"So, for the sake of our continued relationship and my need to get things right, I need you to tell me something. I'm sure you understand all about doing the right things, right?"

"Wade, I thought you and Spiderman don't get along? Didn't he leave the Avengers because you're one now?" Steve couldn't help but ask. Deadpool and Spiderman, Steve knew sometimes they worked together, but he also knew Deadpool was one of the few people Spiderman would rather never interact in both personal and professional level.

"I managed to convince him I was making myself better! Great right? We even had a date, and it was so great, I never wanted to forget it. We danced and we laughed together by the end of the night, and I think we really became buds! I mean, I never had that much fun before, or laughed that hard. I feel like there was finally a sun there after years and years of cloudy days…"

Steve wasn't sure how to take the awed tone Deadpool was using as he recounted his 'date' with Spiderman, but Steve also realized Deadpool never sounded as sincere as he was tonight. He was talking like he had the best night of his life, and to have that best night spent with Spiderman must mean something.

"Did both of you have fun?" Steve asked curiously. Deadpool nodded ecstatically.

"Yup! I know I did, and he said he did, too! He even told me he wouldn't mind going out with me again someday! That's great, right? I mean, I totally wanted that second date. But…"

Deadpool's tone suddenly turned sombre, which Steve wasn't sure if said date was as great as Deadpool exclaimed. But, he was really sincere and sounded…different when he talked about the supposed date.

"But?"

"I…wanted to do the right thing, after that. I thought I did the right thing. I was so sure it was the right thing to do. I _made sure_ what I was about to do was the right thing. I wasn't going to go behind Spidey's back before making sure what I was doing was right. Then they said I was wrong."

Steve wasn't sure how to deal with a sad Deadpool. But, he did know about trying to do the right thing. He could understand that feeling. But, Deadpool's definition of the 'right' thing was often skewed, and usually was the reason why no one could ever work with him. And, the fact he needed to go behind Spiderman's back to do this 'right' thing was a cause for concern.

"Deadpool… What did you do?"

Deadpool seemed to have an argument with himself in his head when he took a few moments to answer. But, when he did, Steve wished he never opened that door or noticed Deadpool outside his window.

"I took a job to un-alive Peter Parker."

Steve was already on his feet before Deadpool raised both of his hands protectively in front of him and said, "He's still alive! I mean, I shot him, but somehow he was alive and have Spidey's power. But he couldn't be Spiderman, because Peter Parker was _evil_! He was bad, I made sure I checked before I took the hit. I _checked_ with my own resources. I even made sure every proof I had was untampered and _real_. I wasn't about to off Spidey's friend if I wasn't sure he was really bad."

Steve listened with half an ear. As Deadpool talked, he thought he understood what was going on. It was good that Deadpool lead with saying Peter was still alive. Really good. It actually calmed him a bit to listen to the rest of his words.

"But then, Parker said he was Spider man, and the little black-Spider said that he is, also the short woman that was usually with Parker. But, that couldn't be, right? There was _proof_. I checked them triple. I was _right!_ Peter Parker was _evil_ , so he couldn't be Spiderman, because Spiderman is _good_ and a true _hero_ and _can't be evil!_ "

Steve thought he knew where this was going, but he needed to make sure.

"So, the thing you wanted to ask…" he trailed, because he needed Deadpool to ask.

"Peter Parker is _Spiderman_. True or false?"

That was certainly right to the point. While Steve did promise to never disclose Spiderman's identity, Peter already told Deadpool. Thrice, if the other Spiderman and Peter's friend confirmed it. Deadpool just had a hard time accepting it.

Wait… Why did Deadpool have a hard time accepting it?

"…True," Steve answered carefully. He could see Deadpool's face just… fell. Even his mask couldn't hide the way his face scrunched in something like despair. Deadpool then reached for something, a map the he just rolled and tuck away somewhere in his suit. He threw the map onto the coffee table. Steve reached for it and checked the files and photographs. As he read the casefiles of various experiments, mainly on human, and mostly unwilling, he heard Deadpool muttering something to himself.

The files were proof of Peter Parker's various nefarious deeds, mainly including human experimentation.

Dated from when Dr. Octavius was in Peter's body.

"Does that mean Spiderman is evil?" Deadpool's voice sounded so small and heartbroken, as if he was a child getting told Santa Claus wasn't real.

"…Not really," Steve answered cautiously. "The Spiderman we all know and love, the one who was an Avenger, was good. He was a hero. But, the Peter Parker that was in these files, he _was_ evil. A real villain, in fact."

Deadpool's masked face showed clearly how confused he was.

"I know I'm not usually smart, but what the hell was that supposed to mean? Is he a villain or a hero? Did he turn evil somewhere along the way?"

Steve pointed to the files. "Did Peter say anything about these files?"

Deadpool's mask showed how displeased he was at Steve's question.

"Why is it that people loves to answer questions with another question? Even Captain America does that," Deadpool muttered under his breath, but still loud enough for Steve to hear. Steve ignored it and asked again.

"Deadpool, what did Peter say?"

Deadpool threw both his hands to the air in exasperation.

"Nothing, okay. He just told me he was Spiderman before he told me to ask you about Spidey's identity when I didn't believe him, which is still bumming me out. Spidey was totally my hero after you. He also said to ask the Avengers about Dr. Otto Octavius, which I really don't understand why. The guy's been not-alive for quite a long time."

"Well, his body was," Steve said. Deadpool frowned again.

"Look, Captain. I have the utmost respect for you. I mean, you're Captain America! Who doesn't? But, if you don't get to the point soon, my bad mood will only turn to worse."

Steve couldn't help but to feel a little accomplished for having annoyed Deadpool, if even a little bit. After putting up with the mercenary's annoying tendencies for so long, being able to turn the tables felt good. He still understood that Deadpool in a worse mood was not what he wanted to have tonight.

"When Dr. Octavius was about to die, he switched his mind with Spiderman. So, for a while, neither Peter Parker or Spiderman was himself. I still don't quite understand why Dr. Octavius decided to continue being Spiderman, but he did and called himself the 'Superior' Spider-man. In that time, he's done some terrible things while in Peter Parker's body, including, well, this ," Steve explained and pointed at the files.

"Peter himself wasn't aware of what Dr. Octavius was doing while the doctor in his body. His deeper subconscious managed to stop Otto from killing anyone, but he still wasn't aware of everything Otto was doing as Peter Parker. None of us even realized he wasn't Peter, or Spiderman. Only after he managed to get rid of Otto that we knew the story. We only knew he was acting oddly, but none of us ever thought he wasn't who he was. We've proven for ourselves that the present Peter Parker is himself again, with no traces of Otto in his body. So, the present Peter Parker is the Spiderman that you said is your hero."

 _"Shut the fuck up."_

* * *

Peter Parker is Spiderman.

Peter _fucking_ Parker is _Spiderman._

The guy he thought was evil was his _fucking_ hero.

The guy he almost un-alive was the last person he ever wanted to un-alive in the world.

 _'Fuck me sideways with a Hulkbuster'_

 _[Ugh, terrible imagery, man]_

 _(Sounded so painful)_

 _[At least we got confirmation that Parker is Spiderman?]_

 _(Whoa, Spiderman will totally hate us after this. We almost killed him!)_

"Shut the fuck up," Deadpool muttered. Captain America then stopped his story about Dr. _fucking_ Octavius being in Peter Parker's body and did all the wicked deed that was written and explained in the files he had gathered. If he wasn't too much into his head, he would probably feel bad about cutting of Captain America while he was talking. As it was, Captain America's sensibilities is not on forefront of his mind right now.

Oh, Bea Arthur. _Peter Parker_ is _Spiderman_.

"What? I thought you wanted to know?" the Captain asked, confused and slightly offended by the harsh words.

"Not you," Deadpool said, then rethought it. "Well, yes you. I need to go."

Deadpool then stood up and left the Captain's humble abode, files still in the Captains' hand while his thoughts were full of Peter Parker and Spiderman.

"Deadpool! Where are you going?" he heard the Captain asked from the distance. Deadpool, who was still in a haze, answered automatically.

"Spidey's!"

 _[You sure he wanted us there?]_

 _(You pointed a gun at his head)_

He pointed a _gun_ at his _head._

He _fucking_ pointed a _fucking_ gun at _Spidey's_ _fucking head._

What if he _had_ shot his head?

 _[He would be not-alive]_

 _(And very dead, not in a pool way.)_

He felt nauseous at the thought.

 _[The writer's joke must have gotten worse.]_

 _(Meh. She never wrote humor before. Have you seen her stories?)_

"Oh, just shut up! This story was supposed to be about me and Spidey getting together! How are we going to get together after this?" Deadpool was still feeling sick. He needed to go back to Spidey's. If he grovels, maybe Spidey will forgive him.

He will grovel even if Spidey never forgives him.

He will beg and kneel too if Spidey would forgive even an iota of what he had done.

He would shoot himself in the head if would make Spidey feel better.

He looked up to see the skyline and saw the tall buildings in the distance. He felt his stomach twisted and turned as Peter Parker's apartment was in his view. That familiar, familiar building where he shot Peter Parker—

 _(Spiderman, Peter is Spiderman)_

 _[Spidey, who you had a night out with before. Or, was it a date?]_

 _(Who you shot right after your fun, fun night out)_

 _[Who thought you got near him so you could go and un-alive, well, him.]_

"Fuck…" Deadpool muttered silently. He would shoot himself now, but then maybe Spidey would like to see it happen. Deadpool always felt better when he shot the people who tried to kill him.

He hastened his pace towards Peter's building. He wanted to get over it soon, then maybe he could eat his gun in his bathroom after.

* * *

After Deadpool left his place, Peter found himself getting carried by Miles back to his bed, before the younger Spiderman left to patrol the city. He would've refused, but he honestly had no strength left. All fight left him once Deadpool left with all the files of Peter Parker's supposed misdeeds. His heart was pounding when Deadpool aimed his gun, because even when the threat was right on his face, his spider-sense didn't ring at all.

"Wade's client could be one of Octavius' victim," Peter muttered out after Anna Maria passed him a glass of water. He could understand that want for revenge. He had seen the pictured. They were horrible. No wonder Deadpool was adamant that he was evil.

"Peter, it wasn't you," Anna Maria said when she saw his face. "It was Otto. Even I didn't know about his experiments, or that some of it was still running."

"I know it wasn't," Peter answered readily. He knew it wasn't his fault. It was all Otto. He knew that. "But, he had done those with my name, my face. Everything he had done, he had done those in my body, both good and bad. His victims will blame me for everything he had done, and there's nothing to do about it. Even if every of his victims somehow believed it wasn't me, my face will still be the one they remembered as their tormentor."

"Peter…"

"Look, Anna. I'm just really tired and in pain right now. Let's talk later, yeah?"

Anna Maria looked like she didn't want to leave him alone, but he really wanted to rest. Deadpool had drained every bit of what energy he had gathered when he dozed off. With his wounds re-opened, he just wanted to sleep. Preferably all day.

"You need to get back to the company, anyway. I'll be fine. I'll be resting all day, I promise," Peter tried to grin, but from the look on Anna Maria's face, it didn't look very convincing. But, she did leave him after making him promise to call if anything happens.

When he was finally alone, he wondered if Deadpool knowing Spiderman's identity was really the right thing to do. Belatedly, he wondered why he trusted the other man anyway, after everything he had done.

He went to sleep with a faint sense of betrayal gnawing at his heart.

* * *

Deadpool perched himself on Peter's window, absently wondering why it wasn't locked.

 _[Because he's Spiderman, duh!]_

Right. Peter Parker is Spiderman. He needed his windows unlocked so he could swing in. As Spiderman should.

 _(You repeating yourself is getting old. Look, even the writer got tired of it.)_

 _[Me think you think too much. Just grovel, beg, and kneel. Then shoot yourself if he asked for it. Easy. You shoot yourself all the time.]_

Deadpool would do just that, if Peter hadn't been sleeping. It looked like Peter had been sleeping for quite a while, maybe not long after he left the apartment.

Now that he thought about it, this is probably the first sleep he's had since yesterday.

 _[Since you shot him right after you spent the night dancing with Spidey]_

 _(And he's Spiderman)_

"Make me feel worse, won't you, writer?" Deadpool muttered irritably.

Now that he's already inside, getting out again seemed like a stupid idea. Waiting in the living room made him feel sick, since he wouldn't be able to stop staring at the front door. Where he shot Peter Parker. Spiderman.

"Stop it," he muttered silently, careful so he wouldn't wake the man on the bed. Waiting there in the bedroom was better, but he didn't want to be that character from that stupid vampire novel where the vampires sparkle.

 _(Shiklah read that novel)_

 _[Still, stupid. Just don't tell her]_

 _(The writer also read it, all four novels)_

 _[So? Still stupid]_

Deadpool ignored the boxes as he stared at the sleeping Peter Parker. He felt like a creep, but it wasn't the worst thing anyone ever called him, so he ignored it too.

Peter looked pale.

 _(He did almost die. You were aiming to un-alive him. He probably lost a lot of blood)_

 _[If he wasn't Spiderman, he_ would _be dead]_

Deadpool felt suffocated, so he pulled up his mask and let it fall to the ground as he slid down to the floor, sitting with the windowsill on his back. He stared at the floor, unable to look at the bed and the figure on it much longer.

Deapool then buried his head in his hands and groaned.

"…Deadpool?"

Deadpool froze.

* * *

Waking up to see Deadpool sitting on the floor under his window, hands covering his face and head bowed while groaning, was a really weird way to wake up. With the way Deadpool seemed to curl into himself made Peter absently thought if the mercenary had been hurt.

If he did, Peter didn't notice any blood.

Peter honestly couldn't care enough to really look closely right now. Not after he just woke up after he slept—a look to outside his window said it's already night, so a whole day?

Well, he felt much better than when he went to sleep, so there's that.

"Deadpool?" he called out through a dry throat. He also felt his stomach rumbling, before he remembered he never had gotten that breakfast he ordered. His sustenance for today had been all the water Anna Maria had given him before he fell asleep.

But, as out of it as he was with hunger and thirst, he still noticed the way Deadpool's whole body flinched when Peter called out his name before he simply froze up.

"…Peter," Deadpool replied back, hands still covering his—unmasked, now that Peter looked carefully—face. His tone was strangely flat. The big guy hadn't moved an inch besides the flinch, which was making Peter quite uncomfortable. He pulled himself up to sitting position as he waited to Deadpool to say something else.

Peter waited, but Deadpool still won't move, or talk. Peter heard him breathing through his hands, but Deadpool wasn't muttering or even whispering to himself. No words came out of the mercenary. He was the most silent since Peter had ever known him.

It wasn't a comforting sight, and confused the hell out of him.

"Deadpool, what are you doing there?" Peter asked after the silence became too stifling. Deadpool is the Merc with a Mouth. He wasn't supposed to be this silent.

"We had a deal. I was to tell you about my client if you're right. You are. So, here I am. But you were asleep. So I waited," Deadpool said, voice mumbled through the hands. Peter found himself waiting for Deadpool to put down his hands or just put on the mask back.

Deadpool wasn't usually shy to show his face around Peter. Well, Spiderman, but now that he knows, it should be the same thing now, right? And, if he wanted to hide his face, why did he took off his mask in the first place?

And, why did he wait instead of just waking him up?

The hands thing made him more curious than the waking up thing, though.

"Okay, but why are you hiding your face with your hands?" Peter asked. Deadpool slowly moved his hands. But, he was still looking down, not even glancing towards Peter.

"….Nothing. So, client—"

"Wait," Peter interjected. "I'm far too hungry for this conversation. Let me eat first, then we'll talk."

Deadpool seemed to perk up slightly at that. He was finally looking at Peter, at least.

"Okay, what do you want to eat?" Deadpool asked, his voice sounded like he was excited at the prospect of food. That was more like Deadpool, so Peter relaxed as he pondered about what he wanted to eat.

"I never really get that breakfast burrito, so I guess something Mexican is nice…" Peter thought. He knew the number of a good Mexican place they could order.

Peter found it weird that Deadpool's face seemed to fell when he mentioned breakfast, but seemed to go excited again on the prospect of Mexican food.

"Chimichanga! Chimichanga always made everything better! Wait here, I'll get it!" Deadpool exclaimed before he grabbed his discarded mask and jumped out of the window, leaving Peter who was staring at the spot Deadpool left bewilderingly.

"O-kay… Weird…." Peter muttered to himself. Now that he'd really woken up, staying in bed seemed silly. He tried moving and was pleased when he didn't feel pain. There was a twinge of pain when he tried to stand, meaning he wasn't completely healed. But, he was glad he can walk on his own to his kitchen.

He was really, really thirsty.

His journey to the kitchen was uneventful enough that he began pondering about Deadpool's brief visit. The mercenary was uncharacteristically mellow and silent tonight. The moment when Deadpool seemed excited in fetching him food, even to go so far to pick it up himself when he could just pick up a phone and order in was weird too. Deadpool was so ready to put a bullet in him earlier today.

It was after he finished his glass of water that things seemed to click.

"…Oh…"

 _'Was that how a Deadpool who felt guilty looked like?'_


	4. I'm Sorry, Please Don't Forgive Me

Deadpool came back with a wide variety of Mexican food, and lots of Chimichanga. His hands were full of take-out bags, 6 cans of coke, a bottle of cheap wine, (is that a box of pizza in there?) and Peter wasn't sure what to do with this scene.

So Peter simply waved the mercenary towards the kitchen where Deadpool can unload his—Peter couldn't think of other words but raids.

"So, there's food," Deadpool said after he put all the bags on a table. Peter still stared at the abundance of food. While he wasn't that broke photographer working for scraps in Daily Bugle anymore, he never had that much need in buying so many foods in bulk, as if some kind of Zombie Apocalypse were just around the corner. The amount that Deadpool brought in could probably feed a Hulk.

Well, that may be an exaggeration, but it did look like it could feed at least a Hulk.

"Yeah, I can see that," Peter deadpanned, still reeling from the amount of food Wade had bought.

Deadpool was standing awkwardly while fumbling with the straps of his katana-holder, still unmoved from the table full of food as Peter distractedly thought on how they could finish all those foods. The silence that ensued was most likely uncomfortable for Deadpool.

 _'This is Deadpool feeling guilty,'_ Peter thought, half in awe, half disbelief. Peter didn't expect Wade to come back with this much food. He thought Wade would buy a normal amount of food, for two or three at most. Not for a Hulk. He wouldn't even be surprised if Deadpool hadn't come back.

"So, food," Deadpool began, "I didn't know what you liked, so I just bought lots of Chimichanga. Like, ten of them, because everyone needs ten of them. Then other things on the menu looked good too, and you were probably really hungry since you haven't eaten all day, so I bought two of each. You were also nursing wounds—which was my fault, so I thought I should buy you proper dinner! Nothing is more proper than having wine with food, right? I also bought you pizza and soda, because who doesn't like pizza? I've seen Spidey— _you_ , eat these pizza, so I bought them too, just in case you didn't like any of the food I bought. Or didn't feel like eating them now. So…."

Deadpool pointed at each food he bought as he talked, while Peter could only stare and take deep breaths. Deadpool were—well, he _is_ Deadpool. This level of over-the-top way of saying sorry shouldn't surprise him.

Everything was so much easier when he hated Deadpool. If only he could go back at hating him, it would be a great day. But alas, he could feel whatever annoyance he might have felt disappearing at the extravagant-yet-awkward gesture.

Peter resigned himself to never getting those feelings back.

"You know," Peter began when Deadpool finally took a breath. "When people felt guilty, they usually just apologized."

Deadpool seemed to startle at that, before he went to fiddle at his straps again.

"Well, this is me, apologizing. I mean, if you'd rather have me shoot myself, I'm totally on board with that too."

"No!" Peter help up his hand at the 'shooting himself' part. "No, why would I want you to do that?" Peter asked incredulously. Deadpool shrugged.

"I don't know. I did shoot you. So, I thought, maybe shooting me could even that out. An eye for an eye thing?"

Peter scrunched his face distastefully. "God, no. If I want to even it out, I'll ask you to scrub off my floor! Or get me a new carpet. Do you know how hard to get those blood stains out? And the smell, _ew._ "

Deadpool seemed to perk up again, before Peter interjected again.

"No, Deadpool. At least, not now. Anyway, what I meant was—"

"I can grovel though if you want. Beg, too. I totally planned that. I'll even give you my gun—the literal gun, by the way. You said you don't want to shoot me _now_ , but I think you'll want to later. You can even keep the gun for the time you'll want to shoot me, or tell me to do it myself, which is super too. I totally want to eat my gun now. I planned to do it after, in my bathroom. But, if you want to watch, I won't say no—"

"Oh, for God's sake, shut up for a minute!" Peter cut off in frustration. "You're the Merc with a Mouth! Can't you just use your words and say you're sorry? I don't mind you grovelling. I'd like to see that, in fact. But, no shooting! I've had enough guns for today."

Deadpool was silent for a moment. "That's a lame way to apologize. Not the grovelling, but the saying sorry part. We're not really in pre-school, even though I sometimes I act like one."

Peter simply raised a lone eyebrow. "So? I want to hear you say it, nonetheless."

Deadpool frowned under his mask.

"And, if you don't mind taking your mask off, that will be great, too."

Deadpool crossed his arms in front of his chest, pouting under his mask. But, after a minute of Peter's staring, Deadpool huffed and lifted a hand and pulled off his mask. His eyes wouldn't meet Peter's though.

Now that Peter could see his face, he could clearly tell how sorry he was. Without the mask, Deadpool's expression was slightly easier to read. The scarred face essentially covered some of his expression, but Peter could see the guilt in it.

"I'm… sorry…," Peter could see how sincere it was, and that was enough for him. Deadpool didn't have all the facts, and he did mean well. The sense of betrayal that was lodged in heart eased with the heartfelt apology. Not entirely gone, but no longer as substantial. But, now that the words were out, said mercenary couldn't seem to stop.

Well, it's not like Peter would stop him either.

"I'm sorry I went behind you—Spidey— _your,_ back. I'm sorry I almost ki—un-alive— _shot,_ you. I'm sorry I didn't believe you when you tried to tell me. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. I should have. I'm sorry I lied. I didn't really lie with everything, but I'm sorry for the parts I _did_ lie about. I'm sorry for aiming a gun at you _twice._ I'm sorry I made you disappointed in me, again. Most of all, I'm sorry I broke your trust and did such a shitty thing and just being a failure of a human being."

Peter thought that some part of those apologies were actually a bit much, especially that last part, but…

"Okay," he replied simply. Deadpool finally snapped up his head and looked at him. His face was a mixture of surprise and confusion.

"What?"

It wasn't often that he heard Deadpool talk in one word, so Peter was going to savour it and save it into his memory.

"I said okay. You're forgiven. Just don't shoot at me anymore and keep my identity to yourself, then we're good."

Deadpool's eyes narrowed at him suspiciously. "That's it? I keep your identity secret and we're even?"

"Well, not ' _even'_ ," Peter couldn't help saying. "I still want you to either help me fix my floor or buy me a new carpet. I liked that carpet. _Then_ we're even. I said we're good, as in, I forgive you."

Deadpool looked sceptical. Now that his eyes weren't covered by the mask, Peter could see the way those eyes were looking at him uncertainly.

"So… I'm forgiven? That's it? Are you sure you don't want to shoot me? I mean, I did shoot you, three times."

Peter pretended to think about it, before he just shrugged. "Nope, not feeling like shooting you today. Or anyone. Exactly like how I feel every day, truthfully. Don't worry, though. You'll know exactly when my feeling change. I'll have my web-shooter when that time comes. So yeah, you're forgiven."

Deadpool was still staring at him, looking unsure at himself. He didn't say anything else, though.

"So, dinner? I'm actually really hungry, and you took your time getting here," Peter was already reaching for one of the take-outs before Deadpool replied.

"I wasn't really sure what to buy. I didn't know how much you actually eat, or how much food you need to recover from bullet-wounds," Deadpool said. Peter was paying more attention to the take-outs rather than the mercenary, who ended up behind him when he came closer to the table.

"Well, I can tell you these are actually too much. My appetite isn't as big as Thor or Hulk, or even Captain America. I can eat more than average human, but I can still live on two meals a day and three cans of soda. What do you want to eat first, by the way?" Peter answered distractedly. He was having a hard time deciding which one he would like to eat, before he finally picked the Mexican take-out at random, choosing two (for himself, Deadpool can choose on his own) before he turned back towards the red-suited man.

Who was staring at him like he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

Peter tilted his head and shot him a curious look. "What?"

"…Nothing. Does that mean I'm eating with you?"

Peter raised a curious eyebrow. "Aren't you? I wouldn't be able to finish those, not before any of them going bad, anyhow. Besides, you bought them. I assumed you did buy something for yourself among that pile of food."

"Not really, but I'll take Chimichanga," Deadpool answered. Peter grinned at his answer.

"Great! Take five, while you're at it. Hell, take all of them. We'll eat in my room. There's a TV in there, too. I'll move the couch there after we put these foods in," Peter said as he headed towards his bedroom. The living room's carpet still has his blood stains on them, and he wasn't sure he wanted to notice that while eating.

He wasn't squeamish around blood, but eating while noticing a large patch of his own blood must be another level of morbid.

Deadpool followed behind him dutifully, his share of food stacked in his arms. There were still plenty of food left on the table, even after Deadpool took all five Chimichanga and two cans of coke, and Peter took another pack of take-out and another can of coke. He figured they could always take more later it they were still hungry.

Deadpool was silent again, but Peter figured he'll get back on being annoying again after eating. He was too hungry to contemplate anything else but what to watch as they eat their dinner.

* * *

Deadpool didn't expect it to be this easy.

He understood that Spidey— _Peter_ , didn't want to see him shoot himself. He was never the kind of guy that favoured lethal weapon, like his guns. When Peter asked for him to take off his mask and simply _apologize_ , as sincere as his apology was, it didn't feel like enough. Even the act of taking off his mask felt so inadequate for Spidey— _Peter's,_ forgiveness. Peter had seen his face so many times, even his complex already waned in his presence.

Well, now that he knew Spidey's face, the complex did creep back. But the face of Peter Parker never changed when he saw his scarred face, as if he was already used to it. So, the insecurity faded again.

He didn't expect Peter to simply said ' _okay'_ after his word-vomit kind of apology.

"What?"

"I said okay. You're forgiven. Just don't shoot at me anymore and keep my identity to yourself, then we're good."

 _[That was easy]_

 _(Waay too easy)_

 _[We didn't even grovel. Or beg. Or kneel!]_

Deadpool couldn't help but feel a little cheated. He had spent the last three chapters worrying about this. He even spent the last chapter in a slump. Yet, the person he was apologizing to simply gave him an 'okay, you're forgiven', after the most inadequate apology in the history of apologies.

 _'Are you kidding me, writer? What the fuck were you thinking?'_

Sure, he bought food. He bought Chimichanga! But Peter's not eating it yet, so they don't count! Besides, he didn't look all that happy when Deadpool arrived with food!

 _[A mountain of food]_

 _(In fact, I think Peter looked at you like you were crazy)_

 _'Exactly! How the hell am I forgiven then?'_

. "That's it? I keep your identity secret and we're even?" The shooting part was already a given. The image of him ever aiming a gun at Spiderman would forever haunt his nightmares.

"Well, not ' _even'_ ," Peter said, and Deadpool would sigh a breath of relief, if only Peter stopped there.

"I still want you to either help me fix my floor or buy me a new carpet. I liked that carpet. _Then_ we're even. I said we're good, as in, I forgive you."

Deadpool would buy him Persian Rugs to cover all the apartment, but he still couldn't get over the 'forgiven' part.

"So… I'm forgiven? That's it? Are you sure you don't want to shoot me? I mean, I did shoot you, three times." Because shooting, shooting he could understand. It would be welcomed, even. Because being forgiven like this, just with saying sorry, did not feel good. It didn't feel like Wade deserved it yet. It wasn't right yet. There are not enough Persian Rugs in the world to ever make it right.

Peter looked like he was thinking about it, and Wade hoped the guy would just accept his offer and ask for the gun. But, then he said, "Nope, not feeling like shooting you today. Or anyone. Exactly like how I feel every day, truthfully. Don't worry, though. You'll know exactly when my feeling change. I'll have my web-shooter when that time comes. So yeah, you're forgiven."

 _[Well, at least you know Spidey was never shy in showing his displeasure in you]_

 _(His web-shooter wasn't a gun, but the sentiment's there, right?)_

 _[Besides, Spidey's Spidey. He wouldn't use any lethal force if he could help it.]_

 _(You can always shoot yourself later though, just so you can feel better.)_

Yeah, he can do that. He'll just wait after Peter finished eating, then after they talked, he'll come back to his safe-house and eat his gun, as he planned in the third chapter.

Yeah, he felt better already by thinking about it.

Then Peter had to bring up dinner.

"So, dinner? I'm actually really hungry, and you took your time getting here,"

He actually spent more time in choosing which Mexican place to order and which food, and how many he should buy, than waiting for the food itself. Chimichanga was a given, he just wasn't sure if Peter would like other variety or not. He didn't really say anything but Mexican before he left. Which was his fault, actually. After that, he got carried away and bought coke, wine, and pizza, when he passed by the pizza place Spidey seemed to always buy from.

"I wasn't really sure what to buy. I didn't know how much you actually eat, or how much food you need to recover from bullet-wounds," he answered. Then, he was distracted when Peter was choosing food in front of him.

Why the hell was Spidey showing his back to him? Spidey was supposed to have that awesome self-preservation thing, which wasn't supposed to show someone who _shot_ him his _vulnerable_ back! That wasn't how this works!

 _[And, what exactly is 'this'?]_

"Well, I can tell you these are actually too much. My appetite isn't as big as Thor or Hulk, or even Captain America. I can eat more than average human, but I can still live on two meals a day and three cans of soda. What do you want to eat first, by the way?"

Deadpool had to restrain himself from putting his hands back to his face and stare at Peter's back instead.

He already formulated 43 different ways of maiming said back in various lethal ways _(and five, in fun ways. You dog~)_ while Peter was too busy picking up take-outs. And now, the other man is practically asking him for dinner.

The days when Spiderman hated him was so much simpler.

He didn't want those days to come back, at least not now that Spidey seemed to have a smidge of trust in him. Not after everything he had worked for to get here (he would be glad to get rid of the shooting part, though). But, it certainly was easier. And less confusing. It was certainly easier on his feelings, too.

He was pretty sure his disbelief showed clearly in his unmasked face when Peter tilted his head shot him a curious look.

"What?"

 _(Adorable, isn't he?)_

 _[His guard is practically non-existent right now]_

 _(Is he trusting you, or is he just in a hunger-deprived mental state?)_

Deadpool didn't dare to hope for the first.

"…Nothing. Does that mean I'm eating with you?" he asked, futilely hoping for the negative answer.

"Aren't you? I wouldn't be able to finish those, not before any of them going bad, anyhow. Besides, you bought them. I assumed you did buy something for yourself among that pile of food."

Deadpool should really said no. Besides, he bought all those foods for Spidey—or Peter.

He really should get back at that name-thing later.

"Not really," he answered, but of course he couldn't refuse the siren's call. "But, I'll take Chimichanga."

When Peter grinned, Deadpool resigned himself to feeling both better and worse for the rest of the night.

"Great! Take five, while you're at it. Hell, take all of them. We'll eat in my room. There's a TV in there, too. I'll move the couch there after we put these foods in," Peter chattered. Deadpool followed him without much words, because he was pretty sure he was both crying and laughing inside right now. Couldn't really do both or either right now or Peter would look at him like he was crazy again.

 _[But, you are crazy. You have us!]_

 _(Why do care suddenly, anyway?)_

 _'I don't know. Even the writer doesn't know. Because I'm crazy like that, most likely.'_

He did hope for a chance at second date since the second chapter's title card, but he wasn't sure this was the way he wanted it.


End file.
